Avenue Q

[winter4rain]

Нашла вчера прекрасное

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

It Sucks To Be Me

KATE MONSTER
Morning, Brian!

BRIAN
Hi, Kate Monster.

KATE MONSTER
How's life?

BRIAN
Disappointing!

KATE MONSTER
What's the matter?

BRIAN
The caterine company
laid me off.

KATE MONSTER
Oh, I'm sorry!

BRIAN
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college, and I
always thought -

KATE MONSTER
What?

BRIAN
No, it sounds stupid.

KATE MONSTER
Aww, come on!

BRIAN
When I was little
I thought I would be...

KATE MONSTER
What?

BRIAN
A big comedian
on late night TV
But now I'm thirty-two
And as you can see
I'm not

KATE MONSTER
Nope!

BRIAN
Oh Well,
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
Nooo.

BRIAN
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
No!

BRIAN
It sucks to be broke
and unemployed
and turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.

KATE MONSTER
Oh, you think your life sucks?

BRIAN
I think so.

KATE MONSTER
Your problems aren't so bad!
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.

BRIAN
You are.

KATE MONSTER
Thanks!
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!

BRIAN
Me too.

KATE MONSTER
It sucks to be me.

BRIAN
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Brian...

KATE MONSTER
And Kate...

BRIAN
To not have a job!

KATE MONSTER
To not have a date!

BOTH
It sucks to be me.

BRIAN
Hey, ROd, Nicky, can you
settle something for us?
Do you have a second?

ROD
Ah, certainly.

KATE MONSTER
Whose life sucks more?
Brian's or mine?

NICKY AND ROD
Ours!

ROD
We live together.

NICKY
We're as close
As people can get.

ROD
We've been the best
of buddies...

NICKY
Ever since the
Day we met.

ROD
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.

NICKY
Come on, that's
an exaggeration!

ROD
You leave your
clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.

NICKY
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.

ROD
You make that very
Small apartment
We share a hell.

NICKY
So do you,
That's why I'm in hell too!

ROD
It sucks to be me!

NICKY
No, it sucks to be me!

KATE MONSTER
It sucks to be me!

BRIAN
It sucks to be me!

ALL
Is there anybody here
It doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Why you all so happy?

NICKY
Becuase our lives suck!

CHRISTMAS EVE
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in
Korean deli
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two Master's Degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients
And I have an
Unemployed fiance'!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Suck!
It suck to be me!

PRINCETON
Excuse me?

BRIAN
Hey there.

PRINCETON
Sorry to bother you, but I'm
looking for a place to live.

CHRISTMAS EVE
Why you looking all
the way out here?

PRINCETON
Well, I started at Avenue A,
but so far everything is out
of my price range. But this
neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!
Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign!

BRIAN
You need to talk to
the superintendent.
Let me get him.

PRINCETON
Great, thanks!

BRIAN
Yo, Gary!

GARY COLEMAN
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

PRINCETON
Oh my God!
It's Gary Coleman!

GARY COLEMAN
Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -

ALL
It sucks to be you.

KATE MONSTER
You win!

ALL
It sucks to be you.

BRIAN
I feel better now!

GARY COLEMAN
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.

ALL
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be us)
But not when
We're together.
We're together
Here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams
Come true,
We live on Avenue Q!

PRINCETON
This is real life!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

NICKY
You're gonna love it!

ALL
We live on Avenue Q!

GARY COLEMAN
Here's your keys!

ALL
Welcome to Avenue Q!

Everyone's a little bit racist

Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -

Kate Monster:
No!

Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Kate Monster:
Right!

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

The internet is for porn!

KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people dont sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

There's a fine, fine

Kate Monster:
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time. а на это я хочу клип. И даже попробую сделать *предчувствует пиздец*

There is life outside your apartment

There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside...
There is life outside your apartment!
There�s a pigeon
Squashed on the street.

Christmas Eve:
Ew.

Brian:
There�s a girl passing by

Nicky:
No I think it�s a guy

All but Princeton:
And a homeless man
Who only wants to
Buy something to eat!

Sorry, cant help you.

We could go to the zoo!

Trekkie Monster:
Pick up girls at NYU!

Brian:
We could sit in the park smoking pot!

Christmas Eve:
Or not.

All but Princeton:
There is life outside your apartment.

Princeton:
Well, I guess Ill give it a shot.

All:
There is life outside your apartment.
I know -
There is life outside your apartment.

Voice #1:
I�m gonna jump!

All:
Don�t do it!

Voice #1:
Okay.

All:
There is cool shit to do
But it cant come to you
So come on -

Voice #2:
Get out of the way asshole!

Princeton:
Fuck you!

All:
There is life outside your apartment.
Oh, you never know
Whats around the bend.
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend...

The More You Ruv Someone

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill him.
The more you love someone,
The more he make you cry

Though you are try
For making peace
With them and loving,
That is why you love so strong
You like to make him die!

The more you love someone,
The more he make you crazy.
The more you love someone,
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him
And only see fat and lazy,
And wanting baseball bat
For hitting him on his head!

Love

Kate Monster:
Love

Christmas Eve:
And hate

Kate Monster:
And hate

Christmas Eve:
They like two brothers

Kate Monster:
Brothers

Christmas Eve:
Who go on a date

Kate Monster:
Who....what?

Christmas Eve:
Where one of them goes,
Other one follows
You inviting love
He also bringing sorrows

Kate Monster:
Ah, yes.

Christmas Eve:
The more you love someone,
The more you want to kill him.
Loving and killing
Fit like hand in glove!

Kate Monster:
Hand in glove.

Christmas Eve:
So if there someone
You are wanting so
To kill em.
You go and find him.
And you get him.
And you no kill him.
Cause chances good

Both:
He is your love.

For now

PRINCETON:
But then- I don't know why I'm even alive!

KATE MONSTER:
Well, who does, really?
Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied.

BRIAN:
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside.

GARY COLEMAN:
Take a breath,
Look around,

BRIAN:
Swallow your pride,

KATE MONSTER:
FOr now...

BRIAN, KATE, GARY, CHRISTMAS EVE:
For now...

NICKY:
Nothing lasts,

ROD:
Life goes on,

NICKY:
Full of surprises.

ROD:
You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.

CHRISTMAS EVE:
You're going to have to make a few compromises...
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!

LUCY:
For now we're healthy.

BRIAN:
For now we're employed.

BAD IDEA BEARS:
For now we're happy...

KATE MONSTER:
If not overjoyed.

PRINCETON:
And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now...

GARY COLEMAN:
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

KATE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!